Got a letter from Harlequn!!!!

My heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to explode. My stomach felt like someone had reached into my abdominal cavity, grabbed my guts and twisted as hard as they could. OK, graphic I know, but accurate! A letter had arrived. From Harlequin. It looked so harmless; a plain white envelope with 'Harlequin' emblazoned across the top. I felt it. It was very thin and my heart sank. Surely if they wanted to see my full manuscript it would be more than a one pager? I took a deep breath and opened it, thinking it had to be a form rejection, sure it was nothing else. It was folded in such a way I could just open it and peer inside without taking it out. I saw the words 'I would like to see your complete manuscript....' leap off the page and what I felt after that was just indescribable. I had accomplished another milestone on this journey to publication and it felt SO good. For a brief moment all anxiety was completely gone, washed away by the validation I held in my hand that I was on the right track, that I could be an author some day. Then it returned in full force. I had to polish that manuscript and get it back in her hands, putting myself out there again, raising the stakes. In that instant the familiar anxiety returned, but tempered this time with an increased confidence, a renewed enthusiasm and a fiercer determination to be successful.

It's a fresh week

It's the start of a new week and I'm feeling like it will be a productive one. I'm a little behind on polishing of my manuscript compared to where I wanted to be but I padded the back of the plan a little so should still be on track. I have been loitering again on the eharlequin forums. I get equally inspired and discouraged when I poke around over there. One the one hand it's great to see others striving like I am and making wonderful progress. On the other it's often discouraging to hear how long some of them have been waiting on responses to submissions to editors. This industry takes forever! I often think if I ever attain enough clout perhaps I can manage to shake some things up a bit and be an advocate for the struggling aspiring author! I guess they say you have to suffer for your art, right? I think all the wonderful ladies on the eharlequin forums more than qualify!

It's now 47 days since I submitted my partial to Harlequin Blaze (not that I'm counting or anything)!

Waiting is SO hard!

Although intellectually I knew I would not have received a response as yet to my partial submission, I had fantasized of course that my envelope would be so compelling, my story and writing thereafter so gripping she would send a response requesting to read the full manuscript immediately. The waiting is so hard. I want the request to send the rest of the manuscript so bad! What if I get a letter and (for whatever reason) they don't want to see it? Should I then shelve that novel completely and start another one? I have been combing through the story polishing it as much as I can in anticipation of the request. I think I'll enter it in the Golden Heart this year regardless if I get a negative response before the entry deadline. Can't hurt, right? It may just give me the incentive I need to go on and craft another one.

With school back in full swing I had visions of all this amazing time to write, however, I found it difficult this week to get back into the routine of doing that; almost as if I was anticipating countless interruptions that never really materialized. I think I found my groove by Friday so hopefully this coming week will prove to be more productive!

I am so out there!!

Well, it's been 2 weeks and I'm already anxiously checking the mailbox each day. I got back from a hectic and exhausting 8 day trip to DisneyWorld which managed to take my mind off it. Probably very unrealistic to expect to see anything yet, but maybe the editor will read it, love it so much that she has to write immediately to request the full. Yeah, right. I also really stepped out and entered a couple of contests with the same manuscript I sent to Harlequin. I entered the SF Heart to Heart and The Golden Pen. Both seem like they would provide really great feedback as part of the judging process so I am really looking forward to that. Finalists are announced for both around the end of September so that will add to the anxiety if I haven't gotten a response back by then.

I keep thinking; Is no response better than a rejection? As long as I don't get a response, I can continue to exist in ignorance. Right?

I sent it off...

Well, since I returned from the 2009 RWA conference I have been reviewing, revising and polishing my 3 chapters and writing the dreaded synopsis. I mailed it today. There's relief, trepidation and a lot of anxiety. It was requested material so I know it won't (or shouldn't) end up on the slush pile, but have no idea how long it will take to hear a response. I flip between thinking it's 'OK' to it's 'crap'. I know within about 2 weeks, I'm going to be wanting to check the mail box every hour and am going to drive myself insane. It's hard to push myself onto the next project while I wait, but that's just what I'll do (after a few days downtime)!!

Keep your fingers (and anything else you think might be helpful) crossed for me!!