Friday, October 9, 2009
Got a letter from Harlequn!!!!
My heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to explode. My stomach felt like someone had reached into my abdominal cavity, grabbed my guts and twisted as hard as they could. OK, graphic I know, but accurate! A letter had arrived. From Harlequin. It looked so harmless; a plain white envelope with 'Harlequin' emblazoned across the top. I felt it. It was very thin and my heart sank. Surely if they wanted to see my full manuscript it would be more than a one pager? I took a deep breath and opened it, thinking it had to be a form rejection, sure it was nothing else. It was folded in such a way I could just open it and peer inside without taking it out. I saw the words 'I would like to see your complete manuscript....' leap off the page and what I felt after that was just indescribable. I had accomplished another milestone on this journey to publication and it felt SO good. For a brief moment all anxiety was completely gone, washed away by the validation I held in my hand that I was on the right track, that I could be an author some day. Then it returned in full force. I had to polish that manuscript and get it back in her hands, putting myself out there again, raising the stakes. In that instant the familiar anxiety returned, but tempered this time with an increased confidence, a renewed enthusiasm and a fiercer determination to be successful.