What do you do?

It used to be an easy question for me when someone asked what I did for a living. I had the short answer, the elevator pitch or the really long involved answer that detailed the nuances of my prior career. It sounded impressive. It usually impressed. I stopped that career August of last year but still frequently get asked the question 'What do you do?' I literally choke. When I was at the RWA conference in DC I met many authors. Many of them were so sure, so confident. When I asked what they had published, a lot of them responded that they haven't been published yet. Some of these women had been writing for 10 years! I offered the standard words of encouragement but I was really thinking 'Gosh, I hope that's not me!'. Does that make me a bitch? What do I answer to the dreaded question? If I say I' m a writer anyone would invariably ask what I had published. I would then have to admit that I am not published and does that make me seem lame? They would ask what I write. I'm not sure I'm prepared to share with the general public that I write romance, erotic romance at that. I will often say I write women's fiction. That scares most guys off from further questions. Whatever I say ends up sounding flaky and not at all like a serious pursuit. Anyone have any words of wisdom, any cute comebacks or any specific suggestions?